Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
