I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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