You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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