I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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