every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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