you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
