Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
