I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
