Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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