I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
