he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
