I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
