Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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