The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
