What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
