Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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