i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
