you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
