I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
