Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
