but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
