in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I puked a lego.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
