She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
