It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My feet surprised me
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