Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
