vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
