you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
