is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
