was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
