I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
how does that bad decision feel?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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