I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
