Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
