I faked an abortion last night.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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