Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
