i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
