Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
