There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This baby is an asshole
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
