it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
