bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
