That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
