My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
