My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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