girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
