It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
