Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
