We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
