As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
