He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
