elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
