how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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