And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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