i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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