He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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