Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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