Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
